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Description: Mate preferences often fail to correspond with actual mate choices (e.g., Eastwick & Finkel, 2008). The present research presents a novel mechanism for why this phenomenon occurs: people overestimate their willingness to reject unsuitable romantic partners. Across two studies, single individuals were given the opportunity to either accept or decline advances from potential dates who were either physically unattractive (Study 1) or incompatible with their dating preferences (Study 2). We found that participants were significantly less willing to reject these unsuitable potential dates when they believed the situation to be real rather than hypothetical. Across studies, this effect was partially explained by other-focused motives: participants for whom the scenario was hypothetical anticipated less motivation to avoid hurting the potential date’s feelings than participants for whom the situation was real. Thus, other-focused motives appear to exert an influence on mate choice that has been overlooked by researchers and laypeople alike.